十一、交往平衡:人与人、人与自然、人与社会以及人与自己的相互往来的和谐状态。交往平衡的基本原则是:知己知彼、平等自由、简洁高效。无论与谁交往,都应首先将自己修炼成一个“真诚、善良、正直、向上”有良好修养的可交之人。我们建议四大做人准则:
11. Balance of communication: a harmonious state of contacts between man and man, man and nature, man and society, man and himself. The basic principles of balance of communication: knowing one's own situation and that of others, conciseness and efficiency, equality and freedom. Whoever the other party might be, one should first cultivate himself into a sincere, kindhearted, upright and enterprising person. Four rules of conducts are recommended as follows:
1、真诚:做人必须真诚,真诚做人就会有国王般的感觉。
(1) Honest: One must be honest, as honesty makes one feel like a king.
2、善良:平等仁爱。平等首先是尊重,没有尊重就不会有仁爱。
(2) Kindhearted: Be equal and kindhearted. Equality is first shown in respect. No respect, no love.
3、正直:一身正气、疾恶如仇。
(3) Upright: Be a man of integrity and hate evil like an enemy.
4、向上:有思想、有能力、善交往。
(4) Enterprising: Have thought and capability, and be good at communication.
人们相互交往应遵守“普世伦理”——己所不欲,勿施于人;己之所欲,观需施人。己人欲否,依理施仁;欲理和仁,适乎无心。
The “universal ethics” should be abided by in the communication—Never impose upon others what you dislike yourself. Mind if others like what you like. Mind if the public like what we like. Practice benevolence according to the common principle. The heaven, the earth and the people will all like it once it stands to the feeling, reason and law.
交往的四种情形:
Four cases of communication:
(1)与个人交往:先小人、后君子。和气生财、皆大欢喜。
(1) With individuals: Be a small man first and then a gentleman. Be polite in doing business, then everyone will be happy.
(2)与单位交往:先小人、后君子。多按章办事、少感情用事。
(2) With employer: Be a small man first and then a gentleman. Act in accordance with the regulations, instead of feelings.
以上无论那种情形,都要具体情况、具体分析。如:
Either case, make a concrete analysis of specific conditions. For instance:
与强者、强势交往:不卑不亢、平等来往。否则将据理力争、拼死抗争。
When dealing with an overmatch: be neither humble nor arrogant, but equal. Otherwise, argue strongly on just grounds and make every effort to persist.
与弱者、弱势交往:新朋老友、耐心和气。尽心互帮、不求回报。
When dealing with the disadvantageous: be kind and patient, take them as friends, and try to help them for no repayment.
与朋友、对手交往:赞扬其长、自纠己短。诚恳谦虚、适度礼让。
When dealing with friends and rivals: praise their strong points and correct your own shortcomings. Be sincere and modest, with proper comities.
(3)与大自然交往:摆正位置、和谐发展。
(3) With nature: take a correct stand and seek harmonious development.
(4)与自己交往:“克己服理”、持之以恒。
(4) With oneself: being self-restraint and obedient to reason with perseverance.
交往是达到理想的关键。我们提倡各方都应首先尊重对方,共同遵守相关准则。处理好“想与该”的关系,共同做到“克己服理”“位优先礼”。互谅互让就是天堂,贪婪纵欲就是地狱。国与国之间也是如此。
Communication is the key to realizing goals. We advocate that one should first show respect to others, and abide by relevant rules with other people. It needs skills to coordinate between “want” and “should”, and both follow the rules of “being self-restraint and obedient to reason” and “associating according to the priority of position”. Mutual understanding and concession will lead to paradise, while greedy desires to hell. It’s the same with bilateral relations between countries.
人 与 人:己人欲否、依理施仁。
Man and man: Mind if the public like what we like; practice benevolence according to the
common principle,
人与社会:穷善达济、尽其才用。
Man and society: Make full use of one’s ability;
人与自然:平等相处、和谐发展。
Man and nature: Get along equally for harmonious development.
人与自己:协调身心,克己服理。
Man and self: Coordinate the body and the mind, being self-restraint and obedient to reason.
发展目标:生态经济、人文家园。
Development goal: Ecological economy, cultural homeland.
评判标准:整体利益有序增减。
Appraisal standards: Orderly increase or decrease of overall interests.
综之,“生存问题无时不在,发展问题不进则退”。随着时代发展人们的文明程度也应与时俱进,力求做到“个体平衡求生存、群体协调求发展”的和谐统一,达到“历史前进动态要求与个人素质的对应提高”。坚决消除与当代文明不协调的行为:战争、暴力、霸权、恐怖、伪善、欺诈!
To sum up, the issue of subsistence exists all the time, and speaking of development, no advance means going back. Along with the advance of the times, the civilization of human society should also keep progressing with “the individual seeking balance for subsistence and the group seeking coordination for growth”, and “the enhancement of both the changing requirements for historical progress and the qualifications of individuals”. Efforts should be made to eliminate war, violence, hegemony, terrorism, hypocrisy, fraud and other conducts that go against contemporary civilization.
附:社会公德小则:
Attachment: Rules of social morality:
1、上车走路——右上左下、女士优先。后座先上、先上坐后、先下坐前。
1. Getting on vehicles or walking in the street—Get aboard from right and getting off from left. Ladies first. Those sitting in the back get on first. Those get aboard earlier sit in the back and those getting off earlier sit in the front.
2、分发物品——谁分谁后拿。
2. Distributing goods—The one who distributes the goods gets his share last.
3、形体语言——言行举止得体大方。体现教养、风度,对前程影响很大。
3. Body language—Speak and behave decently with poise, as they reveal one’s cultivation and demeanor, and may affect his expectation.
4、行胜于言——有话直说、闲话少说、废话不说、多做少说。
4. Acts speak louder than words—Be straightforward. Don’t gossip or talk nonsense. Act more and speak less.
5、三讲九条——讲义气、讲道理、讲规律。
讲人文、讲科学、讲创新。
讲国家、讲集体、讲个人
5. Nine “stresses”—Stress loyalty, stress reasons, stress laws
Stress humanities, stress science, stress innovation
Stress the nation, stress the collective, stress the individual
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