六、家庭平衡：家庭是以婚姻和血统关系为基础的社会单位。人生的第一课堂、增长才能的第一基地。家庭平衡——家人相处的和谐状态。
6. Family balance: Family is the social unit that is based on marriage and bloodline relations. It is the first class of a person and the first base for one to develop abilities. Family balance—a harmonious state of family members living together.
家庭功能：安全、养育、诚信、有序、团队。家庭教育问题最为突出。
Family functions: safety, breeding, good faith, order and teamwork. Family education is a prominent problem.
家庭关系：夫妻、父子、老小、兄弟姐妹、亲情等原则，类似国家的行政关系。
Family relations: principles governing relations between husband and wife, father and son, old and young, brothers and sisters, and affections are just like the administrative relations of a state.
俗话说：家和万事兴。幸福能使人体内啡肽含量、生长激素浓度上升，机体免疫力增强。幸福家庭的成员不仅个个神清气爽、皮肤滋润，而且较少生病。最新研究表明：人对幸福的期许——较强的生存信心也有神奇效果，可使人的肾上腺素水平下降70％，皮质醇下降39％。而使人感觉愉悦的内啡肽则增加27％，生长激素上升87％。这将使人免疫力大幅增强。人体60％的健康掌握在自己手里，而家庭平衡则几乎全部掌握在自己手中。
As the Chinese saying goes that “family harmony leads to family prosperity”. Happiness helps increase the content of endorphin and the density of growth hormone in the human body, and strengthen the immunity. The members of a happy family not only all look refreshed, but also seldom get sick. Latest research has proven the magic effects of anticipation of happiness on people: reducing the adrenalin by 70% and the hydrocortisone by 39%, while increasing the endorphin by 27% and the growth hormone by 87%, which will greatly augment people’s immunity from diseases. It may be concluded that people control 60% of the initiatives regarding good health, and nearly 100% regarding family balance.
如何做到家庭平衡，“仁者见仁”，我们的建议是：
Though “opinions differ from person to person”, our suggestions on how to keep family balance are as follows:
1、齐家修身、各尽其职。全家老小都应首先扮演好各自角色、具备各自该有的素质。
1、Everyone helps maintain the family, cultivates his or her moral character and plays his or her duty. All family members, old or young, play their roles well and attain qualifications they are expected to have.
2、人格平等、长幼有序。全家人不论大小“人格平等、长幼有别”。尊老爱幼、父慈子孝、兄友弟恭、夫妻相敬。
2、Everyone in the family is equal despite their ages, but the respect for seniority is a must. They respect the old and cherish the young, the father is kind to children and the children practice filial piety to the parents, the brothers are friendly to each other, and the husband and the wife treat each other with respect.
3、既讲亲情、又讲原则。一家人讲亲情固然在理，但无原则的亲情将自毁家门。
3、Both affections and principles should be observed. Though it is quite natural that family members love each other, love without principle will lead to destruction.
4、崇尚和谐、勤俭持家。吃、穿、住、用不在也无需多好，关键是心情舒畅。
4、Family harmony and diligence and thrift in running a household are encouraged. Food, clothing, housing and utensils do not have to be very good, the key is the ease of mind and good atmosphere.
5、百年大计、树人为本。家庭兴旺，就要从小栽培优秀人才。具体建议：
5、The project of vital and lasting importance is to breed the young generation well. Family prosperity relies on educating the young from childhood. My specific suggestions are:
a、续家谱。家谱即记载本族世系、重要人物事迹的书。使全家人有传统感,容易从老人和祖先的成功和失意中汲取经验、教训，利于家人进步。
a. Extend the stemma. Stemma is a scroll recording the genealogy of a family and the stories of key members. It reminds the whole family of their traditions and to learn from the successes and failures of their ancestors.
b、立家规。立家规就是定立家庭规矩。国有国法，家有家规，没有规矩不成方圆。一个家庭若想门庭兴旺，定立家规是必经之路。
b. Set family rules. As a country has its state laws, a family also needs family rules. Nothing can be accomplished without norms or standards. A family must set rules if it wants to prosper.
c、树家风。家风是一个家庭的长期良好表现。一个具有良好家风的家庭，邻里、社会都会尊敬。能够常年保持厨房、厕所、个人的整洁卫生，是一件“大”事！
c. Foster family traditions. Family traditions are a reflection of the refined performances of family members in the long run. Families with good traditions will gain respect of the neighbors and the public. It is an “important” matter to keep the kitchen and the toilet clean and tidy all year round, and personal affairs as well.
d、居家不邀功、兄弟不比肩。兄弟姐妹对家庭贡献多少都是应该的不应论功排名次。只要尽心尽力即可。兄弟姐妹各有长短，每个人都有他人无法拥有的东西，谁也无法取代他人位置。不要排名次论高低。只怕比不出高低倒先伤了和气。
d. Don’t show off one’s own contributions to the family. Whatever contributions one has made to the family, he should never feel being a cut above others, as it is his obligation to contribute. Everyone has his strong or weak points, and plays the role that no others could replace, so as long as one has tried his best, it doesn’t matter how much his contribution is. The attempt to put the contributions in order may result not in an order expected, but in harming the friendly feelings.
百年树人、从小抓起。目前，中国古人讲得“三岁看小、七岁看大”，已被心理学证实不是迷信而是科学。
It takes a hundred years to bring up a generation of able men, so the education should start from the childhood. The ancient saying of “an observation of a three-year-old can tell his performance when he grows up and that of a seven-year-old can tell his performance when he gets old” has been proved by psychology to be scientific, rather than blind faith.
“三岁看小”主要讲这个阶段的孩子虽然懂事不多、甚至不会讲话，但他却会和大人“斗心眼”。他的依托是大家对他的爱，方式是“哭、闹”，目的就是满足自己欲望。可别小瞧这小家伙仅仅采用了简简单单的两个招式，一般父母尤其是爷爷奶奶、姥姥姥爷就都会被他“拿下”。
At the age of three, though the kid doesn’t have much knowledge and some even don’t speak fluently, he knows well how to “match wits” with the adults. Counting on the adults’ love to him, he would “cry and act violently” to get his desires satisfied. The kid only plays two simple tricks before making his parents, especially his grandparents, obedient.
但是，随着孩子“满足感”的不断提升，会导致他长大后“满足欲”的同比例扩大、种下“祸根”。成人后一旦有不满足，内心就会不由自主“追寻”当年的“满足感”……。此时一个小愿望不满足就会感到很伤心、很难忍、很痛苦。当他得知愿望不可能到得满足时，问题就来了——报复、爆发……。
However, as he grows, his “sense of satisfaction” also grows and his desires keep expanding: the root of trouble is planted. When he grows into an adult and if any of his desires is not satisfied, he will naturally recall his past “sense of satisfaction” and make contrast with present situation, and feel sad and intolerable. When he realizes there is no possibility that his desire be met, problems will arise—revenge and violence….
因此，一定要让孩子在三岁前受到一定的“挫折”，让他明白：人的愿望不可能全部得到满足。而大人也要克制自己的情感，不要因为孩子愿望小、容易满足就尽量去做，这样做会“惯出小毛病、种下大祸根”，到头来大人小孩“两败俱伤”，全家人遗憾多多。
So, it is important to let the kid experience setbacks before three and make him understand that wishes are not always satisfied. The adults also should control themselves and should not always satisfy the kid only because his wishes are small and easy to do, otherwise the kid will be spoilt and the trouble is sowed, and in the end, both the kid and the adult will suffer with regrets.
“七岁看大”，主要是说过去人们根据孩子七岁左右的表现，大概可以推测他的未来。其实，这是说：三岁前孩子的毛病在七岁之前容易纠正。上学之后就可以少费心。否则，就会有一辈子都操不完的“心”。
The adults can judge the future of a kid by his conducts at the age of seven. That is to say, the shortcomings of a kid developed before three can be easily corrected before he grows to seven, which will save the parents from a lot of worries after the kid goes to school at seven, or they will take pains in taking care of him for decades to come.
总之，家乃小国。家庭平衡非常重要，它是社会稳定的基础。家庭教育更是关系家庭、家族、国家长治久安、兴旺发达的头等大事。东西方的家庭教育各有所长，但就目前而言西方较好，东方应在保持经典传统的前提下，与时俱进学习西方的长处。
In short, a family is like a small country. Family balance is very important as it is the foundation for social stability. Family education is a cardinal task that affects the stability and prosperity of the family, the clan and the nation as a whole. The East and the West each has its own strong points regarding family education, and the East should learn from the strong points of the West while keeping its fine traditions.
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